Would your love really mean less or more if you openly proclaim it on social media? Is your relationship less serious if it’s not being broadcast on your Timeline? Is your “I love you” status really more genuine compared to a private text to your lovey? Do people really need to see photos of your girlfriend in her nightgown? Is it really necessary to tag your boyfriend to EVERY SINGLE SELFIE you take? You’re not that pretty, guuuurl. 🙂
Here are the worst kinds of couples on Facebook:
1. The Teens
Gurl, puhlease. You’re like 14, sit down!
2. The Too-Lazy-To-Text
Um, there’s this new technology called a phone. Maybe you should text each other that stuff instead of stealing our Newsfeed and making us gag.
SERIOUSLY! JUST TEXT EACH OTHER!
3. The Horny
We don’t need a front-seat to your make out sessions GAAAAAAWD! Hashtag don’t care.
4. The Couple Who Just Can’t Understand the Concept of Personal Message or a Text
WE GET IT! YOU LOVE EACH OTHER!
5. The Crazy in Love
I SAID WE GET IT!!!
Meanwhile, my reaction to my Newsfeed almost everyday is like…
P.S. I’ll probably lose a lot of Facebook friends because of this. But hey, I wish all these couples the best -seriously. 😀 Maybe we’ll see each other in 5 years and awkwardly avoid eye contact.