bacon and eggs

To My Future Kids

You’re welcome. The coolest and most understanding mom gave birth to you. 😀

Here are more reasons you should thank the universe I’m your mother:

  • If you turn out to be gay, I’ll know before you know it. And I’ll still love you and even make ham and cheese sandwiches for your gay partner.
  • I’ll probably call you ‘baby’ like forever, so…
  • You won’t have to beg me to buy you Legos because I’ll spoil you rotten if it comes to Legos.
  • If you’re a girl, I guarantee you’ll always be dressed and styled impeccably. If you’re a boy, all your guy friends at school will be like, “Dayum! That’s your mom? Hawt!” 😀
  • I already have a HUGE collection of books you’ll love. Your future favorite bedtime story Harry Potter is among them, so obviously, you’re welcome.
  • I’ll trust your judgment. If you want to spend your Saturday night at a club with your college friends, I’ll trust you. Just finish your homework first.
  • I’ll be your best friend. We can talk about relationships and school and travel and spiders and stuff.
  • You’ll be a fluent English speaker by the time you hit nursery school. If your teachers ask you to be an orator, declaimer, event host, etc., you won’t have to worry.
  • I’ll let you read my LOTR and ASoIaF collection when you hit 16. Yep, you’re welcome.

So kids, you’re welcome. Oh and before I forget (you can’t read this because you’re still just microscopic egg cells in running around in my ovaries) I love you already. 😀



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