Are You With the Right Person?

Love. It’s crazy how love has a gazillion different definitions (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating). Some say it’s easy, some say it’s destiny, while some say that it’s by the will of God. It really doesn’t matter how you define love, you won’t be grasping at a dictionary or staring at a notepad when you’re deeply heartbroken and clutching a pillow for dear life.

Love. When you feel it for the first time blossoming inside you, it’s beautiful. Admit it, you sincerely wanted to write a song about how you felt, wanted to spend hours daydreaming, or spend countless minutes rereading his cute text messages. But that’s just the “falling in love” part. You didn’t have to do anything then, loving someone was so easy, so spontaneous. That’s exactly why it’s called “falling” in love.

But while this passive experience made you giddy and dizzyingly happy each day, it doesn’t last. After months or maybe years of being together, after going past the getting-to-know-you and oh-my-god-i-love-you-so-much stage, the euphoria of love dissipates. This is natural for every relationship.

Phone calls and text messages become a bore (if they come at all), kisses and sweet nothings in public are never welcome, and your partner’s personal habits drive you crazy. This dramatic difference between the joyful first stage of your relationship and the duller subsequent stage is inevitable.

It is at this point that when fights or arguments ensue, you start asking yourself, “Am I with the right person?” “Can he/she make me happy for the rest of my life?” During this precarious moments, a relationship can break down or grow for the better.

It is up to YOU to decide.

Because at the end of it all, love isn’t about finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found. It’s choosing to continue loving that person no matter how bad your arguments go, no matter the distance between you, no matter the differences in your goals.

Falling in love is easy. But keeping that love alive is not. Both of you have to work at it day in and day out. It requires time, energy, and effort. Most importantly, it demands patience. You can’t expect your partner to change after a bad argument. Emotional maturity means that you’re patient enough to let your partner grow on his/her own. You’re there to encourage and be by their side.

There are so many mysterious things on this planet, but love isn’t one of them. It’s not a big mystery that you’re loving someone and risking the most vulnerable part of yourself.

Love isn’t just an emotion. It’s a decision. YOU decide who stays with you for the rest of your life, who you’ll let walk away, and who you’ll let go…


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